From Checkers to 3D Chess
Cory Largaespada, a father of five—including one adopted through foster care—shared his powerful reflections on parenting, personal growth, and the life-changing impact of being connected to a community of dads through Commission 127.
After raising four biological children, Cory and his wife, Cassie stepped into foster care when their youngest was 10 years old. Though they didn’t initially plan to adopt, their first placement quickly became family—and the journey that followed reshaped nearly everything Cory thought he knew about parenting. “I was playing checkers before—this is three-dimensional chess,” he said. “What worked for my biological kids didn’t work the same way anymore.”
One of the most transformative resources Cory credits to his growth was Commission 127’s introduction to Chosen, a weekly one-on-one parent coaching program rooted in TBRI® (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) principles. TBRI is an evidence-based parenting model that helps caregivers connect with children from hard places through strategies focused on connection, empowerment, and correction. After completing TBRI training, Cory said the weekly Chosen check-ins were a game-changer. “In the past, I’d learn a bunch of stuff at a retreat and fall right back into old patterns,” he said. “But Chosen helped keep it all fresh—it was right at the front of my mind every week.” His coach, a licensed mental health practitioner, helped him tailor trauma-informed strategies to the real-life challenges he was facing at home.
Cory also highlighted the irreplaceable power of community. Being part of the Defenders Leadership Advance two years in a row allowed him to connect face-to-face with other dads who understood the unique struggles of parenting kids with trauma histories. “You don’t have to explain yourself. Everyone just gets it,” he shared. That sense of belonging lifted a weight he hadn’t realized he was carrying. And it’s not just impacted him—it’s broadened the worldview of his four adult children, too. “Fostering helped them see beyond themselves,” he reflected. His only wish? That people outside this world could fully grasp what families like his experience. “I wish there was a QR code you could wear—so people could instantly understand what’s really going on behind the scenes.” For Cory, the support of Commission 127 has been more than helpful—it’s been essential.